Here are a couple pictures as promised of Noah at his friend Victoria's first birthday party and a few at the duck pond.
Hating the birthday hat.
Stealing the birthday girl's shoe.
Eating the bread that is supposed to be for the ducks.
Noah Tamirat loves the slide.
And sometimes enjoys the swings.And now a Public Service Announcement for the people at the zoo.
1. We are just a family no different from anyone else so feel free to stare at all those animals in cages and ignore us. After all aren't the animals what you paid money to see.
2.For the man in the elephant house who thought it was ok to ask his daughter if she wanted to hold Noah's hand and then proceeded to move closer and rub her arm against his hand. 1) Maybe its not ok with me if your child is touching mine and 2) everytime you do that he's pulling his hand away so clearly he doesnt want to be touched. Now move away and let us get back to enjoying the elephants.
3.To the child who stepped in front of the stroller at the tortoise exhibit I asked you nicely to move so please don't feel it necessary to whine to you parent so that they can shoot me dirty looks. To the adult that stepped in front of the stroller at the same exhibit I hope the tire mark on your ankle reminds you how rude you were I'm sure you could have seen the exhibit without blocking my son's view.
4. To the lady who found it necessary to stare at us while we were enjoying our ice cream and the baby was sleeping. I'm not sure what your issue was maybe you were jealous that you didn't have ice cream, maybe you were lonely,,maybe you thought we had stolen this child (because we would definitly do that and then sit around the zoo eating ice cream waiting to see if we got caught). Whatever your issue I feel sad that your so ignorant that you would sit and stare at a family just trying to enjoy their time togeather.
5. To the family behind us in line at the panda exhibit. First of all its HOT stand back and give others some breathing room. Your stroller up my butt is not going to get you into the panda house any quicker. Secondly it's clear i'm trying to keep my stroller moving so that I can get my child to nap its not ok for you to let your child keep creeping up around me to the point i have to stop moving my stroller so she can gawk at my child. Perhaps I should have went about what I was doing and hit her with the wheels and then you would have stopped worrying so much about who was spilling the popcorn and paid more attention to your child bothering others. She'll never learn about boundries and personal space from you thats clear.
6. To the family who let your child come charging up to the front of our stroller and then just stand there again I should have run over your child. Not because I don't like children but because someone needs to teach them not to be rude and if you don't then I will gladly do so.
So that about sums it up for today. It was hot at the zoo and lots of hills made me tired and perhaps a little grouchy. For just one day I wanted to be a family and not the side show for someone's circus. I'm not a person that likes alot of attention so the staring and comments when we are out in public bother me probable more then they do Sean. So for you other adoptive mom's & dad's with your beautiful Ethiopian children..How do you handle it day after day because I know your going thru this as well. Leave me a comment or email me PLEASE.
11 comments:
Noah is so adorable! Loved the photos. Sounds like you had quite a day at the zoo! I am also curious to hear what others might suggest. I, too, am not too happy when the center of attention and I worry about how I will handle the inevitable stares, etc. I hope you get some helpful pointers that will help you through those times.
A couple things...First of all, be in no rush to get off the bottle or the baby foods regardless of your doctor's opinion. My oldest ate SO MANY vegetables as baby food, and it was really hard to fully transistion to table food at that age. Do what works for his best health!
Secondly, I find speaking my mind very helpful in those situations. At the least it lets off steam and hopefully embarrasses the rude people. You have every right (and responsibility) to tell a stranger not to touch your child! And saying it out loud like that might make them realize what an absurd thing they just did- how dare they! The last thing you want is for Noah to think it is acceptable for strangers to touch him.
And of course, "Would you like to take our picture? It will last longer." Is good for the staring. Or say something loud to Sean, like "Wow, slow day at the zoo, staring at us eat ice cream is the most interesting thing to look at."
Try not to let other people make you uncomfortable. Channel your inner mama bear and let them feel like the fools.
Ok. First take a looooong deep breath :) zoos or any other place full of kiddos and hot air makes most mamas cranky so no worries there. Second, having been 'there done that' 2 times now , from experience i have NEVER had anyone who commented or stared mean any harm. most folks have only HEARD of folks adopting internationally especially ethiopia, so to them it is kind of amazing and well ..interesting. i LOVE talking about my kids, and adopting, hoping to spark someone else to take the leap, so if i feel someone is open to a bit of info i will chat. most times when folks stare , i will just catch there eye and smile, an go from there. usually they are just afraid to say something for fear of being wrong LOL. like the dr who asked me if my kids were foster kids....nice one dude ! everyone says how beautiful and doll like tatiana is , so after i say thank you, she is such a blessing...if the conversation keeps going or if they ask i will offer that she was born in ethiopia. if it doesnt continue or they dont ask, i dont offer. i figure our kids will face soooo many question in a family w/ white parents that i want to be a good model for them on how to handle it. being rude unless they are rude first (then watch out !) seems silly to me and you miss an opportunity to educate about adoption and our beautiful childre :) honestly you have to get used to being noticed a bit now...all parents do. folks notice cute kiddos :) and last..dont rush taking away his bottle, that is his comfort. sucking is comforting for babies in the womb and long after they are born :) he is still just a baby who has had so many changes in his short life. dont waste time worrying about his bottle. his is just beautiful :) and yes they can marry ...pretty sure they already decided it for us !!
Suggestion!!! Get Noah a helmet then all the questions will be "what's wrong with his head?" shouted across the parking lot rather than "why is your kid brown?" :) Truly, since Elias got the helmet I have had countless questions about his helmet and only a few about the obvious difference in our appreances. Sorry...no brilliant realistic suggestion.
A friend of mine who has bi-racial children has filled my ear of all the stories of things she has had to endure. She has taken the road to always make her children feel more than important, like when they got onto an elevator and others refused to get on with her she said in the sweetest voice "We are so lucky to have an elevator all to ourselves! We must be important!" Her children range from 2 to 9. She has 6 children.
haha - yeah get a helmet! you get crazy/stupid questions!! lol. hang in there - you're doing a great job!! :)
hang in there...We're a freak show every where we go..4 white kids and a brown baby all under the age of 7 will get a thousand questions a day..Now, I will have to say, that I don't mind a little attention especially if it brings attention to Ethiopia, but I understand from my friends who adopted for their first child, that all they want is to look like a family and NOT to always be "promoting" adoption...they adopted to become parents..NOT to always discuss adoption...So, they've made me aware of WHY I don't mind the stares and the questions...I seriously laugh it all off and I never take anyone seriously..I can't be offended if anyone tries their hardest..I always say over and over again in my head, "no one woke up this morning trying to make it their daily goal to offend me"...people are usually pretty innocent...hang in there...you're doing a great job, kristi
Its clear you want a lot of attention and then complain when you get it!
Other children are just as good as yours so don't run us over with your stroller.
God bless your child but shame on you.
Just to encourage you...we are going to be adopting from Ethiopia...we have three bio. Caucasian children...people sometimes say stupid things no matter whether children are the same skin color or not. Three kids somehow qualifies as as "a lot" to some people. Like they say... "You've got your hands full." Actually, no, I don't. I am a good parent, and my children are wonderfully behaved. So, "shut up." :-). Secondly, maybe the stares are just because they are impressed that a family has been created with love as the basis and not color of skin. Just speak the truth in love....the Bible says..it is to a man's glory to overlook an offense.....Jesus died for each of us, so it stands to reason that none of us is perfect on our own.....some people are just more obvious in proving that they need the Savior. :-).
as a mom with 1 bio son and one child home from Ethiopia, some days it doesn't bother me..but some days I feel so conspicuous. The looks, the people who feel they have to tell us how cute our younger son is, or are trying to give their child some kind of diversity lesson by touching my child and getting in his personal space.
Like I said, most days I am so entranced and enthralled by my 2 wonderful, hilarious, entertaining kids that I don't notice - but some days I can't help but be hurt. On the days I do, it is best to just find a quiet spot, refocus on your family, and shut them out. Or go home...some days the general public is just no fun!
i just found your blog...your son is adorable!! just a thought on this one. as a parent of 2 boys who is prayerfully considering adoption, sometimes when i am out and see little cute babies (regardless of their race) i have caught myself staring. just because i think they are so darned cute. and because i love to watch the intraction with the mom. i'm just saying that sometimes, we as moms can maybe be overly-sensitive and maybe the people watching are thinking "i can not believe how cute he is" not "why is HE with HER". just a thought. because obviously sometimes people ARE rude. but if you don't really know what they are thinking, try to assume the best. :) blessings.
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